Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
