How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
