Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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