1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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