I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I see more hoeing in ur future
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