Umm I'm too high to move.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
