i jhust puked up my retainher.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
