there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
