Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
