I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
