Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
