you mean i was at the winter classic?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
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The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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