You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize