I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It's Friday. Sex?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
