Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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