She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
