dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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