I think my vagina is haunted
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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