I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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