Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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