My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
