I think my vagina is haunted
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
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I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
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New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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