My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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