rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize