I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
