Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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