I just pynch a tree in the face
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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