I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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