my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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