remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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