If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Randomize
