69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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