I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
