also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
