Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
she was so not down for the gang bang
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
