Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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