I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
