She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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