Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
