Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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