3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
