dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
he fucked my hip out of place.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
