We're facebook friends in real life
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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