You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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