if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
