He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
