i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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