Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
