I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
