I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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