Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
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