My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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