:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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