I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
