I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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