FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
